apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
