so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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