it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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