He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
