Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
