Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
