nut hugger
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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