dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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