"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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