There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
