And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
