I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
