I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
love makes seman taste better
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize