He uses pillows to masturbate.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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