Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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