We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize