My boss' voice literally gives me gas
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
