with your own penis?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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