i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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