how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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