Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
