new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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