i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
