I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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