She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize
