life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
