I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize