do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
This baby is an asshole
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
