Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
