Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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