I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
