made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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