He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
