Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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