He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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