I want to make a zoo with you.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
