so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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