he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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