nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
