hotel room ftw
she smelled like a LAN party
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
