So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
