I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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