so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize