i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
