omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So vagazzling was a success
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