I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just google imaged poop.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
