At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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