I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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