"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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