i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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