the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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