I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
