): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
If I had your ass I would rule the world
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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