Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
