How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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