so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
