He is such a slut. More and more my type.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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