now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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