I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
This house was built for laser tag.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
