my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
