i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I checked into jail on foursquare
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize