Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
